Aug 12

Put Your Hands in the Air and Step Away From the Shampoo

Put Your Hands in the Air and Step Away From the Shampoo

By Progressive Pete

Do you wash your own hair? Unless you are 16 years-old, completed the required classes, had “300 hours in the practice and theory of natural hair styling at a school of cosmetology,” and passed the written and practical examination it is illegal for you to wash hair. If you have not jumped through all of these hoops, a person could be arrested in Tennessee for illegal hair washing. In my opinion, this is a great and much needed law, because if a person has not had 300 hours of experience in the “theory of natural hair styling,” who knows what horrors might happen.

All I am saying is shampooing is dangerous. Those who have had shampoo in their eyes know exactly what I am talking about. This is no laughing matter. A bad haircut could ruin one’s life. Hair washing is the basis of the haircut. If the conditioning is off, everything else falls flat.

Hair cleansing clearly needs to be regulated. Only licensed people should be allowed to wash hair. If unlicensed people are allowed to wash hair, can you imagine the destruction that would ensue? Many people will argue that countless individuals have been washing hair for centuries without a license, but is that any reason to let the madness continue?

If we let anyone wash their own hair and the hair of others, where does it stop? Do we allow individuals with doctoral degrees in psychology to provide therapy to individuals with depression? Do we permit individuals who graduated from accredited medical schools to conduct surgery? Will we allow competent people to provide a service to those who are in need?

To be safe, we should make everyone apply for a license and pay a fee before they are allowed to do anything. Before a person shoots a gun, they should be licensed. Before a person cooks a meal, they should be licensed. Before someone makes a cup of coffee, they should be licensed. It is not unreasonable to demand that a customer should never be exposed to any risk in their life. From the womb to the tomb, people should never experience any discomfort.

Others will argue that licenses are simply a way to prevent competition in the market. They will contend that requiring a person to complete 300 hours in the “theory of natural hair styling” is simply a ruse to prevent competition in the hair washing industry. Some will even go as far as to suggest that a medical doctor does not need a license. These mad men will state if a person can pass all of the classes, complete the thousands of hours of practical experience, and all of the other requirements of medical school, these graduates know what they are doing. After all, how is it possible for a person to jump through all of the hoops of graduate school and have no idea what they are doing? These insane people believe the licensing system is simply there to provide customers with a false sense of security and a means to extort additional cash out of professionals who are simply trying to do their job and help others.

I will concede that a person with a doctoral degree most likely does not need a license, but I refuse to believe a person knows how to wash hair without at least “300 hours of experience in the theory of natural hair styling.” Some things are simply too risky to leave to chance.


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