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May 04

21st Issue New Voice For Politics

21st Issue New Voice For Politics

 

In this Issue

Zombies & Taxes: You Cannot Escape Them
They will consume everything

Animal Farm: Review of a Progressive Income Restaurant
Dining from the food’s perspective; What do we owe?

Louisville Socialists at the Free Market
Spreading socialism in Louisville

 

Zombies & Taxes: You Cannot Escape Them

Andrew Genesius

2 female zombiesCan you kill a zombie? Sure you can; it is easy. Step one, take a sharp or heavy blunt object and apply with force to the zombie’s cranium. If it is still moving, repeat step one until the zombie is no more.

The problem with zombies is they travel in packs. It is easy to stop one, but can you stop ten, twenty, fifty, or a hundred zombies? One zombie will not kill you, but the accumulation of zombies will, just like taxes.

One tax will not kill you, but a pack of them will. In the United States, citizens are under siege with taxes slowly encircling their victims and dragging them down as they take bite after bite out of our wallets.

Governors are always saying “it is only one little tax; the governed will not even notice it.” “With only a one percent increase,” “a few hundred dollars,” or “the price of a daily cup of coffee,” we can fund whatever the politicians’ pet project is for that day. “It is not a big chunk of your budget,” the usurpers explain, but they neglect to mention all the other bites they have already taken with their other taxes.

The biggest piece the government takes from us occurs before we even receive our earned money through income taxes. Most tax payers lose a third of their income with this one tax alone. If the IRS was a zombie and it took a third of a person’s body with its teeth, the victim would have lost both of their legs.

If the government would only stop with both of our legs, it would not be so bad, but like zombies the government’s hunger is never satiated. A zombie, like the government, continues to feast upon their victim over and over again.

20140829_210523One of these additional taxes will not break a person’s budget, but cumulatively, the pounds of flesh they all consume add up. Throughout one’s day, a person is assaulted, no matter where they go. There is no sanctuary; only man eating man to survive. When we wake up and turn on the light, we are taxed for using electricity. During our morning shower, we are taxed for using the water and sewage system. If a person owns the house they are showering in, they will also face property, school, and garbage taxes. Even during one’s drive to work additional taxes are incurred when we pay for gas, car registration, driving on a toll road, and driver license fees. There is no escape from taxes. Even if we go on vacation to get away from it all, we must still pay hotel, air transportation taxes, landing fees at airports, car rental, alcohol taxes, and sales taxes on everything that is purchased.

This is not even an exhaustive list of taxes. Like zombies, taxes are always multiplying and becoming an increasing threat to all of humanity.

In such a world as this, is it any wonder why Walking Dead is such a popular show? Viewers can relate to being devoured bite after bite from an unceasing onslaught. This is why politicians, like Rand Paul, who are championing smaller government, are growing in popularity, because they are trying to slay the beast that is big government, which is slowly eating us all alive. If we are to survive this tax apocalypse, we need to pick up our figurative samurai sword and crossbow* and support politicians who are trying to shrink the size of government and allow us to keep more of the money we have earned.
3 female zombies
*New Voice For Politics does not encourage armed rebellion. Also, using a crossbow or samurai sword against the army would be stupid, because they have automatic guns, tanks, fighter planes, and nuclear missiles. If you want to make a real difference, pass this article on to a friend, subscribe to the free newsletter, and like the New Voice For Politics’ Facebook page.

 

 

 

 

Animal Farm: Review of a Progressive Income Restaurant

Progressive Pete

butchertown_book_03Animal Farm is not your typical earth-friendly vegan progressive restaurant where the carrots are humanely harvested in culturally sensitive ways. This Louisvillian restaurant in the Butchertown neighborhood is so much more. Animal Farm is a restaurant where the customers are forced to take up the role of the most oppressed class of people on any farm, the animals. The entire dining experience is from this perspective in order to raise awareness and begin a conversation about our relationship to the food we eat.

From the moment one enters the Animal Farm, they are thrust into another world that compels them to confront the morality of their subsistence. As diners enter the restaurant, they are immediately pushed into a cramp waiting pen with poor ventilation and lighting to simulate the horrible overcrowding in industrial farms; however, if a customer pays a little extra, they can wait in the spacious free-range waiting room. The extra cost is just another way of showing how it costs more to produce free-range animals.

Once enough patrons arrive, the entire group, or herd, in the waiting pen is moved to the troughs. There are no tables or chairs, only several long troughs. Be forewarn, moving this many people can be hectic and chaotic within such a confined space. Often while the migration occurs, individuals will be separated from the rest of the people they came with. While being separated from one’s group sounds like a drawback, the breakup of groups is actually encouraged by the restaurant to help people experience what little piglets go through when torn away from their sow. Therefore, it is not unusual for little five-year-old children to be ripped apart from their families to enhance the learning experience.

The food is brought to the troughs by waiters dressed like farmers carrying large “slop” buckets. There is no menu to order from; customers simply receive what is being dished out. The slop is actually a combination of various leafy greens, grains, and antibiotics, making it a very delicious vegan dish. It does smell funny, but the fragrance only adds to the ambiance.

After reaching the bottom of one’s trough, the most progressive and enjoyable part of the dining experience occurs with the bill. Yes, this is usually the least favorite part of the meal, but in a progressive world things are often turned on their head, and the bill is no exception.

Most restaurants are run by capitalist scum who are trying to exploit their patrons in order to get fat off their wallets. They will determine the price of a person’s meal by charging everyone the same fee, which is more than the cost of the food in order to make a profit. Such behavior is utterly despicable and thankfully not done at Animal Farm.

This progressive income restaurant does the exact opposite. Animal Farm exploits some customers in order to benefit special classes of favored customers, because while all customers are equal, some customers are more equal than others. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a well-paying job; therefore, it is not fair, from a social justice perspective, to have everyone pay the same amount for their food. A more “equitable” system is to have people pay progressively, with the rich paying more and the poor paying less. In some cases, poor individuals will even receive money from the restaurant for eating there, instead of having to pay.

In order to pay one’s progressive bill, a person has to follow a few simple steps. First, a customer will need to supply their waiter with some paperwork. They will need to furnish documentation for all forms of income: wages from their employer, cancellation of any debt, unemployment income, income from contract work, distribution from retirement plans, sale of property, investment income, alimony, social security benefits, profit or loss from a business or farm, rental property, jury duty, scholarship, medical savings account, and gambling winnings. Also, the restaurant will need to know about any significant costs that have been incurred throughout the year: such as, childcare costs, education tuition, adoption, mortgage, charitable donations, medical expenses, employment expenses, and union dues.

After a person has collected all of the supportive documentation, they need to read the progressive bill manual. The manual is 73,954 pages long, which just happens to be the same length as the United States Federal Tax Code. Those in the know know it is often helpful to start reading the manual before arriving at the restaurant.

If for some reason a patron is in a rush and does not have time to read all 73, 954 pages, they can utilize one of the progressive bill accountants that work at the restaurant. These CPA accountants will be happy to prepare a diner’s bill for a fee.

No matter how a customer prepares their bill, they should plan ahead and anticipate that it will take at least one hour of waiting in the waiting pens, a half-hour for the eating of dinner, and ten hours to pay the bill. It may also take an additional five hours if a patron’s bill has been selected for an audit. From what I have heard, this is only likely to occur if a customer is rich or they have donated to conservative political groups.

After eating at Animal Farm, one’s clothes will smell funny, but the visitor will have learned about their relationship to food and how complicated a progressive income system is to pay for a bill.

In the next issue, Flat Tax Flat Cakes, a pancake house where everyone pays the same percentage of their income for the food, will be reviewed. Flat Tax Flat Cakes is also known for its unique billing system. In order to determine one’s bill at Flatty’s, a person simply writes down their income from their employer and they pay a percentage of the income. It takes less than a minute to determine the bill.

 

 

Louisville Socialists at the Free Market

Mary Sullivan

louisville socialists boothOn a warm sunny Saturday afternoon, the people of Louisville Kentucky gather to enjoy the Flea Off Market, a cornucopia of precious treasures just ripe for the picking. Amongst the food trucks, beer stands, and stalls selling cute clothes, precious looking jewelry, adorable puppies, and unusual art pieces, humans and dogs stroll through the flotsam and jetsam of society in search of a diamond hidden in the rough.

Amongst the purveyors of peculiarities from yesteryear, there are countless curios, neat knickknacks, and a bounty of baubles for sale. While almost every stall in the Portobello Road of Louisville had its fair share of eccentricity, one stall stood out for being far stranger than the rest. Next to the chicken shit bingo, an odd stall with no items for sale, no customers, and only one table with a money jar upon it was manned by a collection of comrades. A simple banner above their tent proclaimed “Louisville Socialists.”

The Louisville Socialists had nothing for sale at the market; instead, they were asking people to give them money to spread socialism in Kentucky. A donation would help them to achieve success in one of their two projects, “helping a transgender man sue his employer and aiding people to find free stuff in Louisville.” By making a donation, a person could be a member of their little club. Do not worry if you are not a socialist, they are a broad-minded group, allowing communists to join as well.

The response of most pedestrians to their tent was bewildered surprise that anyone would even support socialism after the epic failure of the Soviet Union, but as the Louisville Socialists demonstrated on a very sunny Saturday, socialists are slow learners and not very observant. All around the Louisville Socialists booth at the Flea Market was the free market system succeeding. It boggles the mind how they failed to grasp the irony of their booth.

These socialists were in the middle of a free market. All of the booths around them were supplying people with goods in exchange for money. Their table in contrast was not selling any goods. In fact, they were doing the exact opposite. The Louisville Socialists were asking people who had earned their money through toil and labor to hand over their money to others who have done nothing to earn it. Their booth was a perfect metaphor for socialism and capitalism. In capitalism, people are able to freely exchange for mutual benefit the goods and services they have produced with others who have produced their own goods and services. In Socialism, wealth is taken from the producers and redistributed to others, leaving the producers with nothing for their efforts.

If one compared a market in the former communist Soviet Union with the Flea Off Market’s food trucks alone, one can clearly see which system is superior. At the Flea Off Market, they had a wide variety of food items that would have been unheard of in the former Soviet Union: Caribbean jerk meats, Mexican dishes, barbeque ribs, Japanese Sushi, Cuban coffee, and beers from five different microbreweries. In contrast, this video clip of a market in the U.S.S.R. shows how there are shortages, little to no variety, and rotting food for sale.

Socialism has repeatedly failed, because the government cannot centrally plan the lives of all of its citizens. Bureaucrats in Moscow were unable to predict what a person needed in Kiev in the 1980s, just like bureaucrats in Washington D.C. are clueless about what is needed in Louisville Kentucky today.

The Flea Off Market was a success, because people were allowed to freely assemble and sell their goods to others without any government involvement. Those who are successful return with similarly useful items, while those who offer undesirable items do not. I anticipate the Louisville Socialists booth to be in the latter.

 

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