May 04

Zombies & Taxes: You Cannot Escape Them

Zombies & Taxes: You Cannot Escape Them

Andrew Genesius

2 female zombiesCan you kill a zombie? Sure you can; it is easy. Step one, take a sharp or heavy blunt object and apply with force to the zombie’s cranium. If it is still moving, repeat step one until the zombie is no more.

The problem with zombies is they travel in packs. It is easy to stop one, but can you stop ten, twenty, fifty, or a hundred zombies? One zombie will not kill you, but the accumulation of zombies will, just like taxes.

One tax will not kill you, but a pack of them will. In the United States, citizens are under siege with taxes slowly encircling their victims and dragging them down as they take bite after bite out of our wallets.

Governors are always saying “it is only one little tax; the governed will not even notice it.” “With only a one percent increase,” “a few hundred dollars,” or “the price of a daily cup of coffee,” we can fund whatever the politicians’ pet project is for that day. “It is not a big chunk of your budget,” the usurpers explain, but they neglect to mention all the other bites they have already taken with their other taxes.

The biggest piece the government takes from us occurs before we even receive our earned money through income taxes. Most tax payers lose a third of their income with this one tax alone. If the IRS was a zombie and it took a third of a person’s body with its teeth, the victim would have lost both of their legs.

If the government would only stop with both of our legs, it would not be so bad, but like zombies the government’s hunger is never satiated. A zombie, like the government, continues to feast upon their victim over and over again.

20140829_210523One of these additional taxes will not break a person’s budget, but cumulatively, the pounds of flesh they all consume add up. Throughout one’s day, a person is assaulted, no matter where they go. There is no sanctuary; only man eating man to survive. When we wake up and turn on the light, we are taxed for using electricity. During our morning shower, we are taxed for using the water and sewage system. If a person owns the house they are showering in, they will also face property, school, and garbage taxes. Even during one’s drive to work additional taxes are incurred when we pay for gas, car registration, driving on a toll road, and driver license fees. There is no escape from taxes. Even if we go on vacation to get away from it all, we must still pay hotel, air transportation taxes, landing fees at airports, car rental, alcohol taxes, and sales taxes on everything that is purchased.

This is not even an exhaustive list of taxes. Like zombies, taxes are always multiplying and becoming an increasing threat to all of humanity.

In such a world as this, is it any wonder why Walking Dead is such a popular show? Viewers can relate to being devoured bite after bite from an unceasing onslaught. This is why politicians, like Rand Paul, who are championing smaller government, are growing in popularity, because they are trying to slay the beast that is big government, which is slowly eating us all alive. If we are to survive this tax apocalypse, we need to pick up our figurative samurai sword and crossbow* and support politicians who are trying to shrink the size of government and allow us to keep more of the money we have earned.
3 female zombies
*New Voice For Politics does not encourage armed rebellion. Also, using a crossbow or samurai sword against the army would be stupid, because they have automatic guns, tanks, fighter planes, and nuclear missiles. If you want to make a real difference, pass this article on to a friend, subscribe to the free newsletter, and like the New Voice For Politics’ Facebook page.




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