Tag Archive: Kentucky

Mar 21

Shopping Carts: The Scourge of Louisville

Shopping Carts: The Scourge of Louisville Progressive Pete The Louisville Metro Council deals with only the most pressing issues in Kentucky’s largest metropolis. Many might believe the biggest issue would be the heroin epidemic, traffic gridlock, or even affordable housing, but all of these issues pale in comparison to the most momentous of maladies, shopping …

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Mar 21

Bernie Sanders “Saves” College

Bernie Sanders “Saves” College Molly Roberts College tuition is too damn high! This is a fact that Republicans, Democrats, and Socialists agree on. Republican State Senator Dan Seum is currently trying to fix the problem by requiring all state colleges in Kentucky to have a four year freeze on tuition increases, which would require colleges …

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May 11

Close College Friend Says Hal Heiner is an Alien

Close College Friend Says Hal Heiner is an Alien David Roth   Multimillionaire and Gubernatorial seeker Hal Heiner is an alien who abducted his close personal friend while attending the University of Louisville, according to former close personal friend and abductee. Hal Heiner, former failed candidate for the Mayor of Louisville, has now been cast …

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Jan 23

It is Impossible to Regulate Good Behavior

It is Impossible to Regulate Good Behavior Mary Sullivan Every New Year’s Day, many people make resolutions to become healthy. They promise to huff and puff in gyms, stop clogging their lungs with tar, and to eat those horrible, yucky vegetables. For the first week or two, people try, hit the gym, and end up …

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Aug 12

The Government is Going to Pump You Up

The Government is Going to Pump You Up J. A. Gedra The citizens of Somerset Kentucky now have the opportunity to tell their Mayor to fill her up. According to news reports, “the city is purchasing fuel from a local refinery and pricing it 15 to 20 cents below what commercial stations are charging.” This …

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May 08

12th Issue New Voice For Politics

12th Issue New Voice For Politics In this Issue Have Another Round: The Solution to College’s Drinking Problem If you want less binge drinking, you need to drink more. Why You Will Pay Me $20 for Bottled Water Satisfying the thirst of wild beasts. Ice Cream Death Spiral It can only go down from here …

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Jan 30

Best Bet to End Poverty in Kentucky: Legalize Gaming

Best Bet to End Poverty in Kentucky: Legalize Gaming By J. A. Gedra Helping the poor in Kentucky is a noble endeavor, but how can one help? Nine out of ten people agree that the root cause of being poor is not having enough money. If only they had more money, than they would no …

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